明阅文章网 - 轻松阅读从此开始!

文章阅读网-情感文章-美文故事-散文欣赏-明阅文章阅读网

当前位置: 首页 > 英语文章 >

没有边界感的关系,是一场灾难

时间:2021-06-19 21:09来源:洞见Allergy 作者:洞见Allergy 点击:
Interact with people, sparse and sparse. San Mao once said this: No matter how close your friends are, you cant lose any measure. They think they are familiar, but they turn into isolation. Life is like a ruler, and there must be a degree.
Interact with people, sparse and sparse.
 
   San Mao once said this:
 
   "No matter how close your friends are, you can't lose any measure. They think they are familiar, but they turn into isolation."
 
   Life is like a ruler, and there must be a degree.
 
   No matter how good the relationship between people is, we must grasp a certain degree.
 
  01
 
   The famous Japanese writer Nishizawa Yasuhiko once said: "The so-called normal interpersonal relationship is to keep a certain distance when interacting with others."
 
   When people interact with people, the sense of boundary is blurred, which will only cause trouble and inconvenience to others.
 
  The classic sketch of the Spring Festival Gala "The Honest Man" tells a story:
 
   Wei Ji'an and Huang Xiaojuan rushed to the show after dinner.
 
   At this time, Xiao Shi, played by Guo Donglin, suddenly came home without saying hello and stayed for dinner.
 
   even arbitrarily opened the wine on the table while eating, and drank it slowly, not treating himself as an outsider at all.
 
   Seeing that the show time was approaching, the couple was anxious.
 
   Huang Xiaojuan first hinted at him: "You go back early, otherwise the road is not safe."
 
   Seeing that he was not leaving yet, he had to bite the bullet and said clearly: "I have an urgent matter, and the New Year concert will begin soon."
 
   Guo Donglin still has no wink, saying that she can go first if she has something to do, and Wei Ji'an will do as long as she is at home.
 
   Wei Ji'an was embarrassed to drive him away, and reluctantly said to his wife: "Why don't you go first, I can't go away because of something!"
 
   Anyone with a discerning eye can see that the so-called "something" refers to Guo Donglin.
 
   Unexpectedly, Guo Donglin snatched the ticket from Wei Ji'an and said, "You can do everything you need, I'm fine! This show ticket is quite expensive, you can't waste it."
 
   This is the typical lack of sense of scale.
 
  In life, such people are not uncommon.
 
   Relatives who rarely communicate with each other, they either ask you to do things or borrow money when they open their mouths.
 
   Shared roommates always go into your bedroom without consent, get on your bed, open your drawers, and take your things.
 
   There is no sense of proportion, it is a taboo in interpersonal communication.
 
   Zeng Guofan once said: "Interaction with people is sparse and sparse."
 
   The best relationship between people is not to distinguish between you and me, but to be familiar with each other.
 
A relationship without a sense of boundary is a disaster
 
  02
 
   agrees very much with the online sentence:
 
   "When a person lacks a sense of boundaries, he often entrusts his own affairs to others, and often imposes his own will on others, forcibly stepping into the boundaries of others."
 
  The writer Xiao Hong is a fan of Lu Xun. When she fled to Shanghai, Lu Xun gave her a lot of care and help.
 
   This was Lu Xun's kindness, but Xiao Hong ran to Lu Xun's house in two days and talked about his feelings, staying there for a long time.
 
   Lu Xun was suffering from illness at that time.
 
   Xiao Hong's arrival made Xu Guangping add a lot of things. In addition to taking care of Lu Xun, he also scored energy to accompany Xiao Hong.
 
   Xiao Hong went to the appointment, Xu Guangping also helped her dress up.
 
   Later, in the article recalling Lu Xun, Xiao Hong praised Xu Guangping without hesitation:
 
"She has red eyes pretending to be strong, taking care of him carefully, paying electricity bills, cooking, knitting, babysitting, going to hypermarkets to buy daily necessities, accompany guests, and read important manuscripts to him... ..."
 
   But in Xu Guangping’s article, I can feel that she does not welcome Xiao Hong to come often:
 
  "Mr. Xiao Hong couldn't get rid of her sadness, and he stayed in our apartment every day.
 
   In order to relieve Mr. Lu Xun’s hard work to accompany guests all day long, I had to talk to her in the guest room alone, because I couldn’t take care of Mr. Lu Xun, which often made me at a loss. "
 
   Especially when she wrote that Xiao Hong left for Japan, she used one sentence: "She (Xiao Hong) finally left for Japan..."
 
   There is a saying: "Don’t take others’ affection towards you as your blessing, and don’t take others’ politeness as your blessing."
 
   People who don’t have a sense of boundaries often don’t know when they violate other people’s space and time.
 
   Maintaining a clear sense of boundaries and knowing how to be responsible for one's own affairs and emotions is a kind of ability and a rare kind of education.
 
  As the Australian psychologist George Dade said in the book "Self Boundaries":
 
   "One of the signs of a person's maturity is to understand that 99% of what happens to oneself every day is meaningless to others."
 
   People with boundary awareness, they must pretend to be someone else in their hearts.
 
   People who don’t have boundary awareness ultimately consume the goodwill of others.
 
  03
 
   Fu Seoul said a heart-warming remark.
 
   She said that she has followed her mother's customized "perfect life" until now. The happiest thing is her mother, but not her.
 
   Many parents, like Fu Seoul’s mother, are accustomed to excessively interfering in their children’s lives "in the name of love".
 
   There is a degree in life, but when you pass it, it is a disaster.
 
  All good relationships have their own sense of boundary.
 
   Yang Jiang’s father, Yang Yinhang, is a person with a sense of boundary.
 
   When she was in middle school, Yang Jiang was confused as to whether she should study literature or academic theory. The teacher's advice to her was academic theory.
 
   When she went to ask her father for advice, her father said to her: "There is nothing you should or shouldn't do. Choose what you like the most."
 
   Yang Jiang felt that his father was too indulgent, but his father said:
 
   "What you like is the proximity of sex, which is the most suitable for you. Don't be too critical of the unexpected world. You should choose what you like and are interested in."
 
   Finally, Yang Jiang listened to his inner voice and chose liberal arts.
 
   And the father's education method of guiding the children moderately but not crossing the boundary deeply influenced Yang Jiang.
 
   After she became a parent, she also gave her children enough space and respect to do what she likes to do.
 
   This reminds me of a sentence Yang Lan said:
 
   "My children and I have an agreement. Since they were in junior high school, I must knock on the door when I enter their room."
 
  It can be seen that no matter how close a relationship is, there are bounds that cannot be crossed.
 
   Protecting one's borders and not infringing on the borders of others are the two most important things in all relationships.
 
   It is a kind of wisdom not to let others interfere in one's life too much.
 
   Not much involved in other people's lives is a kind of self-cultivation.
 
  ▽
 
   In the book "Relationship Garden of Cultivation", Bi Shumin said this passage:
 
  "To learn to be intimate with our parents, listen instead of obey;
 
   is close to the one we love, close and not confused;
 
   and our children are also teachers and friends, kind and not arranged;
 
   And our friends, know each other without crossing boundaries. "
 
   To get along with people is too far away and easy to be detached; too close to each other, it is easy to get bored.
 
  The best relationship is to keep a distance close.
 
  A degree of closeness and closeness can help you stay away from fatigue for a long time; only if you are at peace with one another can you care about each other.
(责任编辑:立暖)
顶一下
(0)
0%
踩一下
(0)
0%
------分隔线----------------------------
发表评论
请自觉遵守互联网相关的政策法规,严禁发布色情、暴力、反动的言论。
评价:
表情:
用户名: 验证码:点击我更换图片
栏目列表
推荐内容
hhpoker